Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Barn Cats, Stray Cats and Field Mice

We have a big ass orange cat named OJ. He is big and fat and beautiful.
He is like Garfield… and he is also sorry as hell.

I know this because there is a mouse in my pantry. Which only makes me wonder… was he ever a mouser or were those two idiot stray cats that have now found another place to live the real mousers. At one time we had OJ, alpha cat, master of everything on our property; then there were Oreo and Peanut. Oreo was a stray that took up at our house and once he got past OJ to the deck he didn’t leave, staked his area and stood his ground… OJ just gave up since he was still the alpha. Here comes Peanut. Laid up with Oreo on a night of tom catting around and followed him home… meanest petite scrapper cat I ever saw. She beat them both up – she was viscous. I saw her chase both big boy cats across the yard and attack them both at the same time like a feral crazed Bengal tiger. She beat them up like the Tasmanian Devil.

She was my mouser. Obviously. I need more of her minus the evil.

I live in a 100 year old house. When we moved in the mouse problem was so bad it was like the pied piper lived there. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I took some foam insulation that comes in a can and sprayed it in every nook and crevice I could find. I felt like a mad woman with that stuff. Actually had to get anti depressant medication to keep the madness at bay. Both the spray can and the meds helped but they didn’t completely solve the problem. I tell you there is nothing like the smell a mouse leaves behind. They don’t stop to do their business… they are like birds… letting it go as they go.. wherever they go, AND.. they all go in a pattern in my house. Its like they are following the path of their ancestors because they all run the same route. Bastards. Furthermore… worse than that is the one that gets caught in the fan of the refrigerator…eventually you know he is there… because there is another distinct smell a mouse has… and that is a dead one.

When we had three cats outside I never saw a mouse… and we live with fields on three sides of our property, when the farmers plow.. here come the mice. Like clockwork. The years I never saw a mouse were mentally the most pleasant. Now there is one, possibly two in my pantry. I hear them, see them but can’t catch them. And Lord forgive me all I can think about is how I can kill those little SOBs. Glue traps? NO… why the hell would I do that? It isn’t humane to me… like I am going to grab a hold and unglue him, let him bite me and give me rabies, and turn him loose only for him to come right back. All you doo gooders can have the glue traps… so you can throw them in the trash while they are squeeling, take them to the curb so the trash compacting garbage truck can pick them up and haul them to the landfill where they can be stuck to the glue trap and starve to death. What is merciful and humane about that???? Nope - OLD SCHOOL SNAP TRAPS… merciful, quick and all will be well with the world again. Balance and harmony restored at the house. Snap... bless his stupid heart for coming in my house and throw that sucker in the trash, then set another one just for good measure.


It is what it is… survival of the fittest and country living  … gotta love it.