I do believe I might need to be medicated.
At least until I kill that furry nemesis. And honestly he isn’t little… he is fat as a hog. I guess because he has been feasting on everything in my pantry for weeks. I walked in there this morning, pulled the light chain, and there he was… sitting on a can of Rotel. It was a stare down for about 5 seconds…and then he WINKED AT ME!!! Like a slow motion cartoon I launched myself, as I screamed my best war cry (think Braveheart) at that furry bastard and proceeded to knock everything off the shelf an onto the floor. I look up and there he was … scurrying up the satellite cable though the hole to the top of the pantry.
Jack Nicholson in The Shining has nothing on the crazy that went through me… a flurry of homicidal thoughts run rampant through my mind and I mentally cross off the worst of the list… shotgun, flame thrower, axe, mallet.. no… those will do more damage than I care to deal with… AAAHHHH….THE SPRAY FOAM INSULATION….now where the hell did I see that stuff… FOUND IT~! And it is a brand new can… OH BOY- IT IS ON NOW.
Yes… conjuring my very best evil laugh… I get the stool out… and spray that stuff in the hole that was drilled (much too big) for the satellite cable. Funny thing about spray foam insulation. What you spray expands exponentially. I know there is a mushroom of that stuff on top of the pantry because there is an equally large mushroom of it coming out the bottom of that hole.
Laughing like a mental patient I sashay down the hall to get ready for work… I hear him up on top of the pantry… mad as hell… and probably covered in that sticky stuff J I hope he looses his balance and falls on my snap trap! Good riddance.