Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Pamela Everyone Loves and Will Remember

Ok – I know I posted a serious sad blog that was basically an obituary and nothing more. But this is a follow up to that so serious post. This is about my mother… and why everyone loved her so. She was the best at laughing… at herself, and could find humor in just about everything. She was truly happy with her life and everyone loved to be around her.
A few things come to mind though that, as I sit here, make me laugh. That is what she did... lived, laughed and loved with every fiber of her being she cherished everyone and every minute.
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      When we were meeting with the reverend that was to conduct her memorial service he asked us about her. He looked at my brother and asked him to tell him about her. At that time my brother gets all business, cause he is a business man, and says she was a type A personality, she was very in control and never backed down from a fight. Ok, I can roll with that. She was a type A because she had to be most of our lives. Fighter? Well only when she had to defend her kids, kind of like a mother bear. And then he says that she was very concerned about the environment, recycling and her “footprint”. 
      ( Disclaimer - My dear brother... I love you but I have to joke with you about this...)
      UM…I had to think to myself... who is he talking about? Is he saying that MY mother was concerned about the environment and HER “footprint” ???? Ok – he has got to be kidding right? The woman I knew was only recycling because the City of Cary MADE her recycle. If they caught recycle items in her regular trash she would get a $1000 fine. So yes, she was concerned about recycling but not for the environment aspect but more concerned about having to pay a fine. She would toss these items in the bin but then tell Larry to take them to the curb. She didn’t do trash day. Furthermore, the whole “footprint” thing… yes … she was concerned about her footprint… mostly because she didn’t want to leave it in a pile of dog poop or mud. She loved her feet… she had pretty, regularly pedicured feet, and liked to show them off in expensive open toed shoes. She liked the footprint she was leaving behind because it was a perfect size 8 and in some pretty shoes… with a toe ring.-     

      My mother was blessed with a strong resemblance to Paula Dean. So much so people would ask her for her autograph, Chefs would come out of their kitchen to talk to her, wait staff would be terrified to wait on her, people would follow her around the grocery store just to see what she would put in her cart. When my son was born I thought the doctor was going to faint when she walked in the room and my mother was standing there. She gasped, started stuttering and all my mother did was wink at her and nod her head. And while the resemblance to ‘Ol Paula Dean isn’t what it used to be… she still would get a kick out of it. 

-     Much like myself she was a book hog. There are books everywhere in her house. Hardcovers… never paperback. Very library-ish. Larry talked to her one time about getting an e-reader so she could just download books. No.. she was a page turner and that was the end of that discussion. I talked to her about it too… it is an adjustment to go from paper to e-reader. I had a hard time but now I did it. She said hell no, mainly because what was she going to do if she forgot to charge the damn thing and wanted to read. I had no answer for that because it was probably the most likely thing that would happen anyway.

-     She had the gift of the stink eye. Yes… if you pissed her off you would get the stink eye and you would remember it forever. It burned a hole into your soul where you would feel the fire of hell on earth. I have seen the best of men, and women reduced to nothing… with just “the eye”.  It was a gift, her mother had it… in spades… and she learned from the best.

-     She knew how to “talk the fire out of a burn”. It is an old timey and folksy thing but once again, it was a gift, from her mother, handed down generation to generation. The reason I know this was because she was at my house on new years day and I managed to burn the inside of my left arm with a hot pyrex dish of brownies. It slipped and just landed on my arm before I could put it on the counter. First thing my mother says is “PUT BUTTER ON IT” What??? Butter?? What am I doing cooking my arm just a little more? Of course I didn’t listen to her… my nursing told me to ice it… I was right. So a couple of days later I tell her that someone mentioned they knew someone who could talk the fire out. She says “I know how to do that”. After about 5 seconds of silence between us on the phone I very calmly say “ really??” “ Mom…you were at my house when I burned my arm. You told me to put BUTTER on it. And now you tell me you know how to talk the fire out of my 3rd degree burn?”  her response was that she didn’t want to because she said it was a painful thing to do.. um… and my 3rd degree burn isn’t painful? What do I say? I started laughing and told her how much she sucked, She was fired and she didn’t earn any mom points that day. 

These are just a few of the many many stories about my mother. As I remember them I will blog more. They get better…Much better.
      Now you understand- a little - why she is loved and missed so much.