Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Sparing the Rod...

Are some people predisposed to spoiling their kids?  I think it has to do with how you were raised. If you were given everything you ever asked for then there is a good chance you are pretty much worthless and have an unwarranted sense of entitlement. If you had to work small odd jobs and earn the things you wanted you are probably more appreciative of what you have and also what is given to you.

So, if it is in how you were raised, do we deliberately withhold things from our children simply because we are doing more damage in the long run?  Or do we give them everything we can simply because we can? How do you balance that? In this day and age of high tech gadgets what constitutes too much?

My daughter wanted a new phone. She already had my old phone. However, she specifically wanted an iPhone5C. I could have changed my plan to the tune of $20 more dollars a month and granted that wish for her birthday in November. But I deliberately didn’t and made her wait until her contract renewed in February. It was a bonus that she was invited to join the junior beta club at the same time. I used that new phone as a reward for the beta club and maintaining a 93 average for a year and a half. Ok – Justified as far as I am concerned

I often ask myself “am I ruining her??”. Making her less adaptable to potential hardships that may cross her path in life? Is she going to turn into these useless and worthless kids that think the world owes them something? I am paranoid about her being dysfunctional if I am not around. Of course she is 13 so she is totally dysfunctional right now anyway.

You realize you have ruined and spoiled a child when they reach adulthood … and then it is too late to undo the damage. So every day I have to make a conscious effort to not hand my children everything they say they want. It is so hard. But I have to keep telling myself that I am making them a better person and there is a difference between wanting and needing. They will always have what they need. But the older they get they will have to earn what they want. Any by earning I don’t mean mowing lawns… they can earn by good grades, household chores, no fighting and bickering. The list goes on cause when mama is happy…. Everyone is happy.