Monday, July 7, 2014

Southern Belle Secrets

LORD GOD ALMIGHTY I can only imagine what I would look like without a skincare regimen, pedicures, body lotion, highlights and a curling/flat iron at my disposal. 
Do men even realize what we do to just maintain, let alone improve the way we look?
I know they realize the time it takes because all I ever hear is how long it takes me to get ready to go somewhere. Now, if I am going to Lowes it takes about 10 minutes. Life is Good ball cap, jeans and a t-shirt. Earrings are a must and so is mascara, a bit of liner and some tinted lip gloss. I would hate to frighten everyone in rural Harnett County with the total disregard of these essentials. I have seen those posts on Facebook about people in Wal Mart in their pajamas – or less – and that will not be this girl.
 Speaking of those posts… why would any human being dress like that? There isn’t a single time I have ever thought about going to a Wal Mart that a vision of those people didn’t cross my mind. Half the time I change my mind and rationalize that there isn’t really anything I need at Wal Mart anyway. Its not that I think I am a better person than anyone there… but the lack of self respect, respect for others, decorum and simple dignity drives me nuttier than a squirrel turd and I have to go home and take 4 advil. And the whole dang day is shot to hell.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes, God is the only beholder with the forgiving eye. There really is someone for everyone and that 300 pound chick in Wal Mart with her daisy dukes, knock off UGG boots and tank top on deserves to be loved too. I hope she finds that person that God made for her and they live a long happy Wal Mart shopping life. Women are not the only ones guilty of public fashion fouls, men can be just as bad. Lets hope they all find each other. It has to all be in “the raising” of a child. Children learn by example so there are many generations of these people all congregating in your local Wal Mart. 

I do go there occasionally, usually when I am in a hurry and don’t have time to order what I need online or drive 30 minutes to the nearest Target. But you can believe I go in … focused… I know what I need and I am headed to get it… and get the hell out of there. I usually go in so fast that I never meander around long enough to see anyone I know. And that is fabulous!
 I feel like the rest of this country thinks that the South is either southern class or southern trash. Nothing in between. Bless their hearts.