Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Trying Again... and Taking Bets

I bought some “lucky” bamboo today.
I am probably insane if I think it will work but it is something green in my otherwise nothing green office environment. It has happy plastic gemstones in the votive candle holder planter. Let’s see how long it takes me to kill it. Taking bets…

Why did I buy a little green bamboo plant? Well… it was $14 and it looked full and happy which made me think it had magical Chinese infectious properties and would in turn make me full and happy. I am already full (ish) so let’s see if it makes me happy before it meets an untimely slow demise because I forgot it needs water. 
As much as I try I cannot manage to make a plant thrive in my care. I have killed everything… some things take more time than others but they all die. Usually due to drowning because I don’t like to stick my fingers in dirt to see if it even needs water to begin with. I love to have plants all over my deck and front porch but they are a money pit… because I always have to replace dead ones half way through the summer.

I get an “A” for effort and an “X” for being a dumb ass thinking I could keep something alive for 6 months. I should let my home be a barren place void of anything green. It isn't like I don’t have enough green all around me... fields on three sides and woods on the last. Crops of corn and cotton to the right, left and front. Why do I need anything green or flowery on my porch and deck. Because it is inviting?? Pretty?

No. It is only for me. There isn't a single person that lives there that could give a flying flip about plants and flowers.  My house is pretty with flowers and ferns (which are a little harder to kill thank God) so I will continue to blow unnecessary funds on floral/foliage accents just for me. And if my husband wants to know how much it was (which he never asks) he will hear the requisite $50 response.

For those of you that aren't aware of the code… if he hears $50 that means don’t ask because you don’t want to know the real number. It is almost where he never asks how much anything is anymore…. and that is a good thing.

$50 isn't much for my months of happy thoughts because my deck and porch are so pretty. Nope.. $50 is good. (sshhh) If anyone ever drives past my house and everything looks lush and green just know that it is all new and all the dead stuff has just been replaced. And all is well with the world again.